Cookies in the Airport

This evening our home teacher stopped by and gave us a lesson and some home baked cookies. He missed meeting with us on Sunday because of different things going on. So he shared this story with us. I loved it so much. That I am sharing it with you. I know that there have been so many times that I have only seen things "my way" and have not looked outside the box to see it from other people's eyes. I know that we can all learn from this story. Thankfully I learned from this. There area a lot of times that I tend to place blame on other people. I need to look at the bigger picture. I hope you enjoy this story. Or I dunno maybe this really happened.

Emma Lou Thayne’s
Cookies in the Airport

Cookies. Pepperidge Farm Milano. Just a few. Perfect for between flights. Buy a bag to put down with your belongings on the seat between you and the man also waiting down the row. Pick up your mystery novel, get absorbed, pass the forty-five minute layover with no anxieties.

Fine. But then … what? That man. What’s he doing? Reaching for your bag of cookies? Opening it? Taking a cookie out! Surely not. You look his way, try to be nonchalant, wonder what in the world…?

So you reach into the bag, take one yourself, looking intently at your book. Let him know just whose bag of cookies that is. But then… surely not again. He’s taking another cookie. Two! Eating them as if he’d done nothing wrong. The Nerve, the very nerve. And he looks like such a nice man, smiling the whole time, not at you, but at the newspaper he’s reading. Or pretending to. Like you with your book, now far from your focus but a great prop.

He reaches for the bag, takes two more cookies. You do the same. Neither looking at the other but seeing it all. Again him. Again you. Finally, the end. He reaches in, rustles his hand around in the bottom of the bag, and takes the last cookie! Oh come on! Do you accuse him? Give him a vampire look? Tip the empty bag over his face? Make him somehow aware? At least let him know that you know?

He’s standing up now, picking up his carry-on, and smiling. Smiling right at you, nodding as if he were the most pleasant man in the airport. Really? Not a word, not an apology?

You stand to gather your coat, your purse, your own carry-on. You fumble for your ticket as you head for the line-up to the flight. He’s now gone off to another gate. May his destination be jail!

You keep fumbling. Watching him go. Then… oh come on. Not really. In your purse, a bag of cookies. :)

I Love Ghosties

Once upon a time there was a girl. A silly girl that loved watch ghost shows on television. Well this girl still loves ghost shows such as Ghost Hunters and GHI. Anything that has to do with the paranormal. This is an accumulation of different things that have happened to me that, real ghost happenings that have happened throughout my life. Some of you may say ghosts or spirits. But either way I have felt or seen Ghosts or Spirits a few times throughout my life.
One time when my mother and father worked at the church as custodians, they were at the Sugar City Stake Center and Wendy and I had decided that we were going to go see what my parents were up to at the church. We rode our bikes to the Stake Center and went to the only door that we found unlocked and we went in. All the lights were out. Both Wendy and I had grown up going to the church house so much that we didn’t even have to have the lights on. So we started racing down the hallway to see who could get to the corner fastest. We turned the corner and both of us can to a dead Holt. There in front of us was a lady spirit. I will never forget it she had a bluish aura around her and Wendy and I grabbed hands and we just stood there and stared at this lady. And she stared back at us. I have no clue how long we stood there for but then she and went around the corner. Wendy and I let go and ran to the end of that hallway and looked around the corner and the lady Spirit was gone. Then we heard a noise from the room behind us. It’s the room that they do all the stake business in. And we found out that it was my mother working in that set of rooms. We tried telling her what we saw but we were talking so fast and I don’t think that my other understood what we were talking about. Later on we told our parents and they were just like well it must have been a Spirit of someone that lived here in Sugar City that really loved being in that building before they passed on. Wendy and I still mention it sometimes to this day. It was nutso.
Here this crazy girl that loves ghosts so much started a job at the Madison Junior High building, here in Rexburg, Idaho. It was funny because when I started there I will never forget my friend Krista had said to me after I had been working in this building as a custodian for a few weeks. She says, “I have heard that the Junior High is haunted.” I laughed and was like I don’t think so because I would go there several times where I would be the only custodian, because I would be so busy doing classes and homework that sometimes I would go in there around midnight. Then after I talked with Krista about two nights later, I was in there about midnight and my supervisor had gone home, and I was just wandering around and getting my stuff done then I had to leave something in my supervisors office and her office is in the same hallway and right exactly across from the band room. I heard a huge clanging noise as soon as I went into her office and it sent chills right down my spine cuz I knew I was the only one left in that building. But then again sometimes the door that leads from the band room to the outside gets left a jar or unlocked and so I thought it might have been some kids in there hiding out and that then they hit the stands. I opened the door and went in there and there was no one in the main room, so I checked the teacher’s rooms and they were locked. It scared me and gave me the chills a bit. But it didn’t frighten me so bad that I had to leave the building and I finished my work downstairs. The next day, I told my supervisor Elaine about what had happened to me the night before. Omgosh it was hilarious. She says oh it’s probably just the ghosts that resides here. I looked at her like what in the world are you talking about? And she said yeah you can ask everyone that works here and pretty much everyone that works here has had an encounter with him.
So I took her word for it and asked all the custodians and the ghost that resides there had messed with all of them a time or two. I talked to the secretaries and also some of the teachers. And I talked with the school police officer. He told me that one evening he had told some people about the ghost and that they were sitting in the parking lot which is now the Melalucca parking lot and that they looked into the building and saw this bluish colored light coming from the windows that were upstairs. And so he went into the building and he went into every single area and there was no one there. The secretary that worked there told me that one time she had to leave early but that she had some paperwork that was due the next day so she had to come back. She was the only person in the building. So she thought. And she told me that that evening, she was doing her paperwork and then she heard running and doors above her on the top floor opening and closing, and opening and closing. And this was making her mad that one of the teachers was letting their child run and play and open everyone’s doors and she couldn’t concentrate. So she went up stairs and all the doors were completely shut in that whole hallway upstairs. And she had goose bumps and grabbed her paper work that was due the next day and she literally ran outta the building. She then told me another time when she was again in the building by herself early one morning and that she heard tapping on the glass window that in front of her. She then was like all well maybe it was my imagination. Then she heard tapping on the window again. She looked up and she was the image of a male figure standing there and he was transparent and then he disappeared. She then said that she didn’t run outta the building but said I have a lot of work to do go away. HAHAHA.
So anyway after hearing about all of these stories and I have only shared a few of em. I was on fire with the fact that I wanted to go through and I literally was talking to the ghost all the time. People called me crazy. Elaine always laughed at me. Elaine and I had so much fun working there together. Elaine is hilarious. She started to stand in different parts of the building after she saw that I started working and she was pop out from hallways, and from behind doors. We would both go scare each other constantly. I even started going into her area and making her jump from jumping out from behind doors.
One evening there was a basketball game going on upstairs and I went down to my area and I turned on my I pod and I was singing at the top of my lungs while I was cleaning Mr. Wilson’s room. And I remember I was cleaning his chalk board when I heard the door open behind me and I heard clear as day, “GET OUT.” Then the door slammed. I turned and the door behind me at the other end of the room was the Athletic room. I went to the door and tried to turn the handle and it didn’t open, and so I got the chills because I was thinking in my head that some kids had gotten down stairs from the game and were hiding out in there. So I took off and found my Elaine and told her what happened and that I got the hell outta dodge from that room. She started laughing and said well you wanted him around basically. So she told the principle and he started laughing and then came down stairs with me and we unlocked that room and went inside that room and all there was, was athletic gear. So they laughed and said well there was your ghost. Everyone knew that I love ghosts and that I was trying to draw him out. So then I dunno how long after that but I was in the band room cleaning and I had just turned off my vacuum and was grabbing the cord and wrapping it up, when I heard, Kelly and blah blah blah I dunno what it said after that and I waited til I had the cord wrapped up and then turned around and went to say what Elaine? But then I said What Elaine and turned and no one was in the room. And I heard a conversation going on in that room a few voices. And I was like well maybe it’s from the hallway. No one was in the hallway and then I walked to Elaine’s office and she was sitting at her desk reading the newspaper. So I said Elaine did you just call my name and want to ask me something? She said Nope, I have just been sitting here reading my newspaper. I told her that I was in the band room and that I heard someone call me. And that then I was hearing a conversation in that room. And she laughed and said well Kelly you were the one that drew the ghost out, so I guess he must be following you.
Then there is the time that I got pushed. I was vacuuming my area, and Elaine was there working too at the time when this happened. I was down stairs and vacuuming in the girls locker room, and I must have torqued off Mr. Ghosty. Because I decided that I was just going to pick up the big garbage stuff and instead of sweeping the hard floor, I went in and vacuumed the hard floor. And I stopped and I guess I missed something big from picking it up because my vacuum got plugged and so I stopped and pulled the garbage outta the vacuum tube and then was pushed. I literally flew forward almost fell flat on my face, and the hose part of the vacuum flew off the top of the vacuum. And I stood there for a second after I was picking myself back up and I thought; now Elaine has gone too far. So I took off the vacpak and yelled Elaine that was not cool. So I never heard anything from her. And so I went to the hallway. She wasn’t there. I went upstairs, and guess where she was? In the gym sweeping and mopping. I said um, okay so strange question for you, but did you just come down stairs and shove me really hard and then run up here? And she laughed and said nope, I have been working in here for a while. So I told her that now the ghost was getting physical and that he literally shoved me and that I almost fell. She laughed and said well he was probably in your girl’s locker room sleeping or chilling out and you must have disturbed him. Well that’s pretty much all that happened at my school.
I remember one time there was a marathon of GH’s going on one day, I watched it that whole entire day. Then that evening I felt a presence in my room. It was a male presence. And I could feel him breathing on me and that he wasn’t a friendly guy. And I talked to my parents after I felt this presence for days being in my room. I said I don’t know how come I can’t get rid of him. And my parents said he was probably there because when you are dealing with the paranormal like I had been, by watching GH’s all the time I pretty much invited him. So my dad I begged him to give my room a blessing and I never felt him there again. But he was freaky.
Anyway here are ghost stories. Hilary wanted a compilation of ghost stories so I typed them up and then thought I would just post on my blog. It’s crazy all the things that I have gone through and I never ever really got to choked up about it too much. I told my friends or family at about the time they happened and my friends were like I would pee my pants if that happened to me. But hey this is the girl that broke both of her feet and walked on the for several days til the doctor told me I had to get boots on them and that I was wheelchair bound. ME= one tough cookie. HAHAHA. I <3 GHOSTS. Hey I should get that on a window sticker.

Well yet again, I keep thinking about how much I just need to lose weight. It's so hard when I keep going and going all the time. I really am not a fruit lover. I like fruits when it comes to goodies. For instance Blueberry cheesecake, apple pies, Cherry Cordial chocolate chip cookies. Um so yeah stuff that isn't good for you. I am trying to decide on how I am going to get myself to eat more fruits. Vegatables I like for the most part. I just need to eat more of them as well. Right now I just keep looking at myself in the mirror and thinking I am such a beautiful person. But I hate being so overweight. I swear I look at food and it makes me gain some lbs. I know that one of the other things I need to do is that I need to quit eating after 6:30 that will help a ton. But basically I am always hungry. I need to curb my appetite though. It's hard for me to ignore when I get cravings. I try my hardest to ignore that voice in my head that is saying. "You need to go get some chips and that really yummy Spinach dip that is in the fridge." LOl. And I had made a goal to go walking with my dad at the Rexburg Skate park and that fell through because neither of us has the motivation to do that. I need to find a way to move around more. Because I go from one job to the next. Then I just basically crash. Ugh. What are so good things that you all have done that gets you motivated? I know that there are recipes out there that I can do as well that will be better for me. I just feel bad because I am always going, going, going. :( Ugh. So I haven't lost anything in a very long time and in fact I just keep gaining because I do eat out quite a bit with no exercise and no really movement to get my heart rate up. Well off to another week that I am going to try to do better. Wish me luck. I just want to lose weight so that I can find a guy one day. It's not a ton of fun to be a lone all the time.

Wowsa's all I gotta say....

So for many of you that know I started my job as a Developmental Therapy Tech. I work with adults that have mental and physical handicaps. Thursday the 6th was literally my first day and I went in there and met with Sky my supervisor. I then filled out tons of paperwork and they let me know what I will be doing. For the first few days I will be meeting at the center here in Idaho Falls at Riverside Service Group. Then next week on Tuesday I will be going to meet with a guy one of the clients from River Side and he is just moving into his own apartment and I will be meeting with him and helping him with stuff that he will need to do to get settled into life at his apartment in doing day to day things. He has down syndrome and so I will help him and have to make sure that he does stuff like we do every single day. Make sure that he does a list of things, taken a shower, brushed teeth, deodorant, breakfast. Then when he has to go shopping he will have to find his own ride over to the center or if I know that he has shopping to do I will get the car from the center. Because I can't drive any of the clients in my own car. Then I will take him shopping to get things he needs from lists we will make together. And eventually what will happen down the road is that then he won't have to come to the center. Eventually one day he'll be able to do this on his own and one day get a job and stuff. I will still be working in Rexburg at Adams Elementary cleaning there. I am so blessed and so happy that I have the jobs I have. I hope I can find a full time job but for now I will work hard at these jobs.
Then some days when I don't have to meet up with him, I will be helping there at the center. Can I just say that I really liked going there. A lot of the workers have been so sweet to me, and they have had a lot of patience with me when I have made a few mistakes. There are clients that come in that have either a physical disability or a mental disability and some have both of them. There is one lady that doesn't talk and she is mentally and physically disabled but they try to teach her how to do somethings like to drink the water by herself and to eat from the spoon by herself. So seeing a lot of people that just have no real consistency of life kinda makes me sad, but I am glad that I will be there to help with them.
My first day I was able to help teach a few people in different groups. And there are four clients that come in and they are deaf. So I have already learned quite a bit of sign language. And I will learn a ton more during times when I will help out with those that are deaf. And they say that what I need to do is just pay attention so I have been paying attention. I can't wait to learn even more sign language.
My second day there. The first lady that I worked with was gone and so basically I just went with another girl that was working one on one with a client in the school. And so she just came back from working with this other kid. So I worked with her, and then to get paid we have to fill out tons and tons of paperwork and if there is even one single mistake we have to redo the whole paper. Holy snozberrie. This can get very complicated and I don't completely understand the paperwork too much. But I was with this girl the second day and she and I filled out all the books. Then She goes oh crap! Oh crap! And I was like oh no what? And she was like we have to redo every single book that we just did. Because we marked everyone's papers as that we had done all the people singly. And we were supposed to have marked that we did every person in groups. But she had to go to her clients house right then. So basically she says I am sorry can you redo all the books? And I say yes I will redo all the books. It took me an hour to redo everything. But hey it was a learning lesson that I have to pay attention to exactly what I am doing. I hope that I will continue to like this job and I am sure I will. I really like going there. I will still be working at the school district in Rexburg and I will be going back and forth for now. But maybe I might have to find another part time job in I.F. Because the roads are going to be getting snowy. But for now I am going to work both that I have. I am so glad that I have the jobs I do. I am so blest. Thanks Heavenly Father and Jesus for helping me.

~How to Decorate HALLOWEEN ~

It's almost Halloween. HOORAY.... My favorite Holiday. Well I think that since Last Year I was in a wheelchair for Halloween that I must have been really missing Halloween Decorations. I have really gone all out this year. This never happens. I am not really the "put up decorations" type usually. I have decorated other years but this year I have had tons of fun and my front entry way is decorated and now my dining room. I have decided to let you all know how I did it so that you can see that yes it takes time but it doesn't have to cost a ton of mula. Things you'll need to decorate are things that you may even have at home.
I used construction paper, decorative paper designs (I got mine at Porter's), Scissors, glue, tape, String, bedding stuffing, & basically colored paper to cut out from. I also was on a website called www.eighteen25.blogspot.com, and they had some stencils I used for the bats and ghosts. Plus that website has amazing decorating ideas.
I used the Internet as well. I googled drawings for Halloween witches and Halloween Haunted Houses. I found the one I wanted and, all I did was use the picture as a reference and I drew it just by glance and cut it out. :) I think I did pretty good since I am not really an artist. I just use my site and followed their design.
Here's the pictures of what everything looks like from how I did it to the final product.
























I actually had a ton of fun making all the decorations. The only thing that I disliked was how time consuming it became ha ha ha.

Synyster Gates and Me...

Dream I had that Synyster Gates showed up and I made out with him. LOL
I have a love hate relationship with my laptop. I typed this long message and now I am restarting.
For those that know me, they know that I love Avenged Sevenfold. I would love to meet them one day. And yesterday I had been listening to them off an on all day. Ahhh, I love them.
Okay now onto my dream that involves Synyster Gates the lead guitarist. HE HE HE.
So in my dream I went to be closer to Wendy. She was up somewhere Northern Idaho. She was in such a smaller town that I was like holy shiz this is smaller than Sugar. I didn't know there were towns smaller than Sugar. HA HA. But she wanted me to move closer to her since she had to have surgery on her leg. So I went and rented a trailer house so that I could be there and be closer to her. And help her. I got there and I needed to make dinner. Because I had already made some friends and I invited them to dinner. So I went to a store that was like Fred Meyer, that had everything. And I got there and I really wanted to get Wendy flowers. I was searching everywhere and there were no employees anywhere. And then when I did finally find one, she didn’t want to help me at all. I finally just went to the greeting cards.
I was reading through the cards trying to decide on what card to get Winifred and then Synyster Gates shows up and he’s riding a tricycle and I sorta see him outta my eye. But then he says Hey, How are you doing? That startled me and I look down and see him, and I kinda flip out. I say, You’re, you, you, you’re from Avenged Sevenfold. And I am sure I was giggly and turning red by this point. And he’s like yeah I am from Avenged Sevenfold. I look at him like Holy Crap. I am so shocked that I don’t really say anything. But then he says, Are you okay? And I am like Huh. Yeah I guess so why? And he’s like you seem really stressed out. And I tell him that I am putting together a dinner party and that then I have to go see my sister because she had surgery on her leg. And then I say Would you like to come to my trailer and have dinner with some friends and me? And he says Sure. Then I am like if only I could find some flowers. He knew where some flowers were. So he takes me to this flower case and there are tons of flowers, I am thinking how could I have missed this. Because they were right on the other side of the cards. LOL. I get some flowers and invite him over. I go home and make some pizza. (Me make pizza, hmm yeah that never happens.) It was a beautiful pizza like one that was made from Bricken oven. LOL. Then had salad and other foods. Syn shows up. And all my friends. (How Syn knew where I lived is beyond me. But hey it’s a dream right, They just know. LOL) So we have dinner with all the friends that showed up and then I tell Syn that I have to walk to my sister’s house where she is staying and ask if he wants to come. He says sure. It was snowing so why we walked is beyond me, but I just wanted to walk and clear my head.
We kept walking and walking. And he could see that I was deep in thought, but he drew me closer so that I was warmer. Ahhhh If that could only happen dang it. And then we just talk all the way over to where Wendy’s at. We are getting a bit closer and I say to Syn, I said We are almost there I promise, and I said see there are just two more streets, and I said we’ll go left on that second street. I then started laughing so hard, because the only way that you could go was left. Because there was a field to the right. And so I say to him, well I guess you could go to the right if you wanted to, because there are cows out there that you could hang with. HA HA HA. He laughs and says No that’s okay. And so we get to where Wendy is staying. She is staying in a house that is shaped like a boot. It’s totally cool looking but it’s totally oddball looking as well. I knock on the door an Syn hangs back some. And Winifred comes to the door and she had her leg amputated to the knee. This totally shocks me and I almost start crying. I am like you said that you were only having surgery on your leg… I couldn’t believe that it was gone and that she was on the crutches that helped her walk. She said that the infection in her leg spread and that she had to lose her leg. I give her tons of hugs, til she finally says, Leave me the hell alone. LOL something she would totally say to me. And then she spots Syn. And she says, who the hell are you? LOL he starts laughing and walks up closer and then I tell her that this is Synyster Gates from Avenged Sevenfold. And she was like I have no clue who that is. But hey.
Then she totally embarrasses me She says, well maybe you will get her to sleep with you because she’s still a virgin. My mouth drops literally to the ground and I am soo embarrassed. I say that’s none of your business if I am or not. LOL and she’s like Oh you’re still a virgin, you have a big mouth, if you weren’t a virgin I would know. You would tell me. Bahaha. And I am just smile and say well you know everything don’t you. Then he says well, that’s okay we’ll have to see how things go. We made out on the way here. Maybe something will happen. Yeah in my dream I made out with Syn. GOOO ME.
Wendy’s like well do something with her. She’s missing out. Bahaha. So then we chitchat some more and he and I walk home, and he and I are just talking for a while. Having some cocoa. Then… the home phone rings, my dad comes into my room, and tada that is where my dream ends. Because I woke up answered the phone and tried to go back to the dream to see if I would sleep with Syn. But … alas I was awake. I didn’t return. Blasted all. Well hopefully I can return to this dream tonight. Doubt it, but I can try to force it back into my head. HE HE HE.

Pounds you seriously need to leave my body...

So I am annoyed tonight, went to exercise and walked in about the same time as a girl that is really skinny, we both started exercising about the same time. I noticed while I was doing the weight machines for my legs that she went and weighed herself. Then she exercised about 30 minutes and then I happened to be filling up my water bottle and noticed that she was weighing herself again. Um yeah like you are going to lose weight in like thirty minutes freakin' retard.
Still not a lb. lost that is getting me extremely frustrated. I mean I don't exercise a ton everyday but hey I am up off my butt some of this weight needs to leave my body. It's probably like a lot of people have said that it's all turning into muscle now. So I just am going to keep at it. I have a hard time not eating right before I go to bed. But for the past two days I haven't eaten past 8 p.m. so I am going to really really work hard on not eating past 7 or 8. So I am wishing myself good luck. :)

How about some Eye Candy. ;0)

Still no weight lost, but that's okay I feel like I am getting stronger though anyway so it's cool. I am not the best at eating that well either, it's hard when my parents eat the same things alllll the time. My dad loves this stroganoff meal that he makes like once a week, and I have refused to eat it. So I have been eating out, not all the time but once in a while I eat out so I am sure that that all adds up. My wish for myself is to just work harder at not eating late at night and to eat better. So that is the goal. We'll see if it works out. I don't hate working out as much anymore lol especially when I have something to view when I go. I have found that going later on in the evening is when the cute guys go. So I will be going later on in the evenings from now on. There is always some eye candy there now. I just wish that I would open up and say even hi to some of the other people that are working out there. I love to talk everyone knows this. I have gotten into tons of trouble different places for talking to loud or too much, but I am not outta my shell in order to talk to people in Anytime Fitness. This evening if I get a chance to talk to people I am going to even say at least hi, and ask people how they are doing. Hey it's a start right. :)

Frustration

I haven't lost a single lb. and haven't lost any inches. WHAT THE FREAKIN' CRAP... I am getting so peeved. I have been working out almost everyday. I didn't work out Sat. or Sunday. But what the freak I am getting so mad, I mean what do I need to do to lose weight. I have even been really trying to watch what I eat. I seriously give up. I mean I have been exercising for an hour to two hours, why won't these inches and lbs. just start coming off. I went from being a couch potatoe to working out and have been trying so hard. I am just getting sooooo frustrated. UGH...

Look on the brightside of life.

Well today was a weigh in day for me. I have decided that Wednesday was my weigh in days. So I measured and I haven't lost any inches, and I gained the four lbs. back but that's okay. Because I know that in the beginning it hardest to lose, and I didn't exercise last week on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday and I ate a lot of goodies because of it being Valentine's weekend. Plus at the Fireside Sunday I ate a few pieces of cake. I always crave goodies, LOL. So nothing lost but that is okay with me. And now I am going to go exercise at Anytime Fitness. Update on looking for my Internship. I may or may not get an Internship with the Teton County Recreation Center in Jackson Hole. I had a phone interview with a lady named Jill at the Center today, and she asked if I had any questions and I asked if I could come over there and go for a tour around the center and get a feel for the place. I am going over there on March 1st to take a tour of the place and have more interviews. :) So there is nothing set in stone, but I will check it out and see if it is something that I want to do. I would love to work in Jackson. It is so pretty there, I haven't been there in a few years, but I love it there. And it would be cool, because I would be able to use the facility on my days off. :) So pray for me that I might be able to get this. I wouldn't start til June til the middle of August which would be perfect. I hope things fall into place if not I am sure I will find the one that I am supposed to do.

Children of our Heavenly Father.

Went to a fireside this evening, and I loved a lot of the things that Brother Hammond said. He talked about how he was thinking about what he was needing to say to us as Single Adults. He told us to remember that we are children of God. And to not get so caught up on the things that we wished we were doing. But to think of ourselves as Sons and Daughters of God. I know that a lot of times that I get so wrapped up in the things that I am doing now, and thinking oh my heck I am so down in the dumps because I am still at my parents house, in tons and tons of debt and hoping that things will get better. But I love the fact that I can be here with my parents. They are loving people in a lot of ways and I really do not have a horrible life. I mean some days I do hate it here, because my parents all they seem to want to do is watch t.v. But I do have a good family. I was happy when he talked about how we all need to think that we are greater than we think we are. There are times that I don't think much of myself. I am going to really work on that. Because I know that I am a daughter of God. That Heavenly Father thinks of me, and that he wants me to do really good things in my life. :) I love Heavenly Father and am so happy that he gave us the chance to come to earth and work towards getting back into Heaven someday. I know that I am not perfect, but it's my imperfections that make me interesting and that make it so that I strive to do better each day.

Living, losing, Finding.

Currently my BMI, is 39.5. Wowsa's I knew it was bad. But I am keeping Wednesdays as my day to do a measurement of my body. Yesterday I measured and my Chest was 44 and 3/4 and my waist and butt was 50 and 3/4. My weight was 216. Already I have lost some weight since I last weighed myself. Last week when I weighed myself I was 220. So four lbs. down. I am going to lose weight this year. I am excited to keep track. I know that there will be good days and a lot of bad hard days. But I just want to not be lagging and I want to have energy. I hope to have a cute body for the summer.
Also, I am still searching for an Internship. I wish I was more prepared than just searching for one. I need to get myself motivated to get this Internship done so that I can find a good job doing something fun and motivating. I love photography too so I hope that I can find something to do with photography. I so hate being where it's cold cuz I want to go out and take pics but being that it's been freezing outside it's hard to say Hey friends lets go out and take pics' in these freezing cold temperatures. You know you want to ha ha. Wish me luck on finding an internship so that I can get a diploma.

Motivation

I didn't want to go exercise yesterday at all. When I went to work around five last night I was lagging so bad. Then I was leaving work and was so tired that my whole body just felt like I was ready to just pass out. I didn't want to go to Anytime Fitness at all, but I told my friend Liz that I was totally going to meet her there. I don't ever want to go back on my promises. So I went and got a Subway Sandwich, I got a foot long and ate a half of it and then went and worked out. I at first hated being there and I am sure that I a was a grump. I started out on the machines doing arms and doing legs, then I went and did I have no idea how many minutes on the bike, then I got on the Elliptical machine. I was there at the gym for two hours. I am saying go me, considering I didn't even want to go there. LOL. So I was on the elliptical and I was watching What Not To Wear and my time on the machine ended but I had to wait to see what the girl looked like with her hair cut and with her make up done and with her new outfit so I kept adding more time on the machine. So I have no clue how many calories I actually burned. But It felt awesome to get on there and just go and go and go. Though I hate working out on the machines. I would much rather work out in the great outdoors, hiking and canoeing or doing things that are outdoors so that I don't see four walls. But I am going to keep at it. Go Me. That's my motivation for myself. Ha ha.

To lose will be to Win.

I have decided that I need to just make myself feel better somehow. I am always in a lot of pain. Right now my back as I am even sitting here, my lower back is throbbing and it is going all the way down my right leg. I know I have to lose weight. I started working at Any Time Fitness again, so that means that I get to go workout everyday. Saturday I had no motivation to even get dressed because I am in so much pain. I have three odd jobs that I have to go to, so I am hoping that I can at least get myself out and doing more. I have decided that I need to start doing more around the house as well and that will get me up and moving. I need to lose a lot of weight, and I am hoping that by me exercising I will be able to get out there and that I can just even start losing some weight. Being as I was in the wheelchair for such a long while was no good so I need to get all this weight off me. I need motivation at times. So off I go to eat my breakfast and then wait a little bit and then I am off to the gym. ;0) Wish me luck on losing weight, so that I can feel better.