Well yet again, I keep thinking about how much I just need to lose weight. It's so hard when I keep going and going all the time. I really am not a fruit lover. I like fruits when it comes to goodies. For instance Blueberry cheesecake, apple pies, Cherry Cordial chocolate chip cookies. Um so yeah stuff that isn't good for you. I am trying to decide on how I am going to get myself to eat more fruits. Vegatables I like for the most part. I just need to eat more of them as well. Right now I just keep looking at myself in the mirror and thinking I am such a beautiful person. But I hate being so overweight. I swear I look at food and it makes me gain some lbs. I know that one of the other things I need to do is that I need to quit eating after 6:30 that will help a ton. But basically I am always hungry. I need to curb my appetite though. It's hard for me to ignore when I get cravings. I try my hardest to ignore that voice in my head that is saying. "You need to go get some chips and that really yummy Spinach dip that is in the fridge." LOl. And I had made a goal to go walking with my dad at the Rexburg Skate park and that fell through because neither of us has the motivation to do that. I need to find a way to move around more. Because I go from one job to the next. Then I just basically crash. Ugh. What are so good things that you all have done that gets you motivated? I know that there are recipes out there that I can do as well that will be better for me. I just feel bad because I am always going, going, going. :( Ugh. So I haven't lost anything in a very long time and in fact I just keep gaining because I do eat out quite a bit with no exercise and no really movement to get my heart rate up. Well off to another week that I am going to try to do better. Wish me luck. I just want to lose weight so that I can find a guy one day. It's not a ton of fun to be a lone all the time.

Wowsa's all I gotta say....

So for many of you that know I started my job as a Developmental Therapy Tech. I work with adults that have mental and physical handicaps. Thursday the 6th was literally my first day and I went in there and met with Sky my supervisor. I then filled out tons of paperwork and they let me know what I will be doing. For the first few days I will be meeting at the center here in Idaho Falls at Riverside Service Group. Then next week on Tuesday I will be going to meet with a guy one of the clients from River Side and he is just moving into his own apartment and I will be meeting with him and helping him with stuff that he will need to do to get settled into life at his apartment in doing day to day things. He has down syndrome and so I will help him and have to make sure that he does stuff like we do every single day. Make sure that he does a list of things, taken a shower, brushed teeth, deodorant, breakfast. Then when he has to go shopping he will have to find his own ride over to the center or if I know that he has shopping to do I will get the car from the center. Because I can't drive any of the clients in my own car. Then I will take him shopping to get things he needs from lists we will make together. And eventually what will happen down the road is that then he won't have to come to the center. Eventually one day he'll be able to do this on his own and one day get a job and stuff. I will still be working in Rexburg at Adams Elementary cleaning there. I am so blessed and so happy that I have the jobs I have. I hope I can find a full time job but for now I will work hard at these jobs.
Then some days when I don't have to meet up with him, I will be helping there at the center. Can I just say that I really liked going there. A lot of the workers have been so sweet to me, and they have had a lot of patience with me when I have made a few mistakes. There are clients that come in that have either a physical disability or a mental disability and some have both of them. There is one lady that doesn't talk and she is mentally and physically disabled but they try to teach her how to do somethings like to drink the water by herself and to eat from the spoon by herself. So seeing a lot of people that just have no real consistency of life kinda makes me sad, but I am glad that I will be there to help with them.
My first day I was able to help teach a few people in different groups. And there are four clients that come in and they are deaf. So I have already learned quite a bit of sign language. And I will learn a ton more during times when I will help out with those that are deaf. And they say that what I need to do is just pay attention so I have been paying attention. I can't wait to learn even more sign language.
My second day there. The first lady that I worked with was gone and so basically I just went with another girl that was working one on one with a client in the school. And so she just came back from working with this other kid. So I worked with her, and then to get paid we have to fill out tons and tons of paperwork and if there is even one single mistake we have to redo the whole paper. Holy snozberrie. This can get very complicated and I don't completely understand the paperwork too much. But I was with this girl the second day and she and I filled out all the books. Then She goes oh crap! Oh crap! And I was like oh no what? And she was like we have to redo every single book that we just did. Because we marked everyone's papers as that we had done all the people singly. And we were supposed to have marked that we did every person in groups. But she had to go to her clients house right then. So basically she says I am sorry can you redo all the books? And I say yes I will redo all the books. It took me an hour to redo everything. But hey it was a learning lesson that I have to pay attention to exactly what I am doing. I hope that I will continue to like this job and I am sure I will. I really like going there. I will still be working at the school district in Rexburg and I will be going back and forth for now. But maybe I might have to find another part time job in I.F. Because the roads are going to be getting snowy. But for now I am going to work both that I have. I am so glad that I have the jobs I do. I am so blest. Thanks Heavenly Father and Jesus for helping me.

~How to Decorate HALLOWEEN ~

It's almost Halloween. HOORAY.... My favorite Holiday. Well I think that since Last Year I was in a wheelchair for Halloween that I must have been really missing Halloween Decorations. I have really gone all out this year. This never happens. I am not really the "put up decorations" type usually. I have decorated other years but this year I have had tons of fun and my front entry way is decorated and now my dining room. I have decided to let you all know how I did it so that you can see that yes it takes time but it doesn't have to cost a ton of mula. Things you'll need to decorate are things that you may even have at home.
I used construction paper, decorative paper designs (I got mine at Porter's), Scissors, glue, tape, String, bedding stuffing, & basically colored paper to cut out from. I also was on a website called www.eighteen25.blogspot.com, and they had some stencils I used for the bats and ghosts. Plus that website has amazing decorating ideas.
I used the Internet as well. I googled drawings for Halloween witches and Halloween Haunted Houses. I found the one I wanted and, all I did was use the picture as a reference and I drew it just by glance and cut it out. :) I think I did pretty good since I am not really an artist. I just use my site and followed their design.
Here's the pictures of what everything looks like from how I did it to the final product.
























I actually had a ton of fun making all the decorations. The only thing that I disliked was how time consuming it became ha ha ha.

Synyster Gates and Me...

Dream I had that Synyster Gates showed up and I made out with him. LOL
I have a love hate relationship with my laptop. I typed this long message and now I am restarting.
For those that know me, they know that I love Avenged Sevenfold. I would love to meet them one day. And yesterday I had been listening to them off an on all day. Ahhh, I love them.
Okay now onto my dream that involves Synyster Gates the lead guitarist. HE HE HE.
So in my dream I went to be closer to Wendy. She was up somewhere Northern Idaho. She was in such a smaller town that I was like holy shiz this is smaller than Sugar. I didn't know there were towns smaller than Sugar. HA HA. But she wanted me to move closer to her since she had to have surgery on her leg. So I went and rented a trailer house so that I could be there and be closer to her. And help her. I got there and I needed to make dinner. Because I had already made some friends and I invited them to dinner. So I went to a store that was like Fred Meyer, that had everything. And I got there and I really wanted to get Wendy flowers. I was searching everywhere and there were no employees anywhere. And then when I did finally find one, she didn’t want to help me at all. I finally just went to the greeting cards.
I was reading through the cards trying to decide on what card to get Winifred and then Synyster Gates shows up and he’s riding a tricycle and I sorta see him outta my eye. But then he says Hey, How are you doing? That startled me and I look down and see him, and I kinda flip out. I say, You’re, you, you, you’re from Avenged Sevenfold. And I am sure I was giggly and turning red by this point. And he’s like yeah I am from Avenged Sevenfold. I look at him like Holy Crap. I am so shocked that I don’t really say anything. But then he says, Are you okay? And I am like Huh. Yeah I guess so why? And he’s like you seem really stressed out. And I tell him that I am putting together a dinner party and that then I have to go see my sister because she had surgery on her leg. And then I say Would you like to come to my trailer and have dinner with some friends and me? And he says Sure. Then I am like if only I could find some flowers. He knew where some flowers were. So he takes me to this flower case and there are tons of flowers, I am thinking how could I have missed this. Because they were right on the other side of the cards. LOL. I get some flowers and invite him over. I go home and make some pizza. (Me make pizza, hmm yeah that never happens.) It was a beautiful pizza like one that was made from Bricken oven. LOL. Then had salad and other foods. Syn shows up. And all my friends. (How Syn knew where I lived is beyond me. But hey it’s a dream right, They just know. LOL) So we have dinner with all the friends that showed up and then I tell Syn that I have to walk to my sister’s house where she is staying and ask if he wants to come. He says sure. It was snowing so why we walked is beyond me, but I just wanted to walk and clear my head.
We kept walking and walking. And he could see that I was deep in thought, but he drew me closer so that I was warmer. Ahhhh If that could only happen dang it. And then we just talk all the way over to where Wendy’s at. We are getting a bit closer and I say to Syn, I said We are almost there I promise, and I said see there are just two more streets, and I said we’ll go left on that second street. I then started laughing so hard, because the only way that you could go was left. Because there was a field to the right. And so I say to him, well I guess you could go to the right if you wanted to, because there are cows out there that you could hang with. HA HA HA. He laughs and says No that’s okay. And so we get to where Wendy is staying. She is staying in a house that is shaped like a boot. It’s totally cool looking but it’s totally oddball looking as well. I knock on the door an Syn hangs back some. And Winifred comes to the door and she had her leg amputated to the knee. This totally shocks me and I almost start crying. I am like you said that you were only having surgery on your leg… I couldn’t believe that it was gone and that she was on the crutches that helped her walk. She said that the infection in her leg spread and that she had to lose her leg. I give her tons of hugs, til she finally says, Leave me the hell alone. LOL something she would totally say to me. And then she spots Syn. And she says, who the hell are you? LOL he starts laughing and walks up closer and then I tell her that this is Synyster Gates from Avenged Sevenfold. And she was like I have no clue who that is. But hey.
Then she totally embarrasses me She says, well maybe you will get her to sleep with you because she’s still a virgin. My mouth drops literally to the ground and I am soo embarrassed. I say that’s none of your business if I am or not. LOL and she’s like Oh you’re still a virgin, you have a big mouth, if you weren’t a virgin I would know. You would tell me. Bahaha. And I am just smile and say well you know everything don’t you. Then he says well, that’s okay we’ll have to see how things go. We made out on the way here. Maybe something will happen. Yeah in my dream I made out with Syn. GOOO ME.
Wendy’s like well do something with her. She’s missing out. Bahaha. So then we chitchat some more and he and I walk home, and he and I are just talking for a while. Having some cocoa. Then… the home phone rings, my dad comes into my room, and tada that is where my dream ends. Because I woke up answered the phone and tried to go back to the dream to see if I would sleep with Syn. But … alas I was awake. I didn’t return. Blasted all. Well hopefully I can return to this dream tonight. Doubt it, but I can try to force it back into my head. HE HE HE.

Pounds you seriously need to leave my body...

So I am annoyed tonight, went to exercise and walked in about the same time as a girl that is really skinny, we both started exercising about the same time. I noticed while I was doing the weight machines for my legs that she went and weighed herself. Then she exercised about 30 minutes and then I happened to be filling up my water bottle and noticed that she was weighing herself again. Um yeah like you are going to lose weight in like thirty minutes freakin' retard.
Still not a lb. lost that is getting me extremely frustrated. I mean I don't exercise a ton everyday but hey I am up off my butt some of this weight needs to leave my body. It's probably like a lot of people have said that it's all turning into muscle now. So I just am going to keep at it. I have a hard time not eating right before I go to bed. But for the past two days I haven't eaten past 8 p.m. so I am going to really really work hard on not eating past 7 or 8. So I am wishing myself good luck. :)

How about some Eye Candy. ;0)

Still no weight lost, but that's okay I feel like I am getting stronger though anyway so it's cool. I am not the best at eating that well either, it's hard when my parents eat the same things alllll the time. My dad loves this stroganoff meal that he makes like once a week, and I have refused to eat it. So I have been eating out, not all the time but once in a while I eat out so I am sure that that all adds up. My wish for myself is to just work harder at not eating late at night and to eat better. So that is the goal. We'll see if it works out. I don't hate working out as much anymore lol especially when I have something to view when I go. I have found that going later on in the evening is when the cute guys go. So I will be going later on in the evenings from now on. There is always some eye candy there now. I just wish that I would open up and say even hi to some of the other people that are working out there. I love to talk everyone knows this. I have gotten into tons of trouble different places for talking to loud or too much, but I am not outta my shell in order to talk to people in Anytime Fitness. This evening if I get a chance to talk to people I am going to even say at least hi, and ask people how they are doing. Hey it's a start right. :)

Frustration

I haven't lost a single lb. and haven't lost any inches. WHAT THE FREAKIN' CRAP... I am getting so peeved. I have been working out almost everyday. I didn't work out Sat. or Sunday. But what the freak I am getting so mad, I mean what do I need to do to lose weight. I have even been really trying to watch what I eat. I seriously give up. I mean I have been exercising for an hour to two hours, why won't these inches and lbs. just start coming off. I went from being a couch potatoe to working out and have been trying so hard. I am just getting sooooo frustrated. UGH...