I went to church today, and I get sooooo nervous when it's A Fast and Testimony Meeting. For me? I get so nervous that I almost feel like I want to throw up. Well I didn't get up today and share my testimony. I love being a member of this church. And I love to talk. But I just have a really really hard time when it comes to Testimony Meetings. I would like to share my testimony. Because even though I didn't get up and share it, I still like to share it with others. When I share my testimony it helps me to get stronger and it may help and strengthen other people. "I have had a really really hard past few months. I know it's because Satan wants to work on me so hard and that I let him into my life. I know that the things I need to do are reading my Scriptures, praying, and all the Primary answers, of even going to church. I can say that thus far lately, that all I have been doing is the last one. I have been going to church. I usually find excuses for the other things that I know that I need to be doing. Well just recently it got to the point that I was hating being a live. I was seriously saying one day, Heavenly Father, I am done with this life. I want to take my own life, even though I know that I would be missing people here, but I was so depressed that I was thinking there is no point for me to be here. Plus I was in pain, tons of different kinds of pain. I was feeling actual pain, because I have a ruptured disc in my back and because, I was just feeling pain all over really. But one night recently. I was up the majority of the night and I was just bawling my eyes out, and saying I am done. I am so done with this life. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. And I am going to have to say that it's going to take some time for me to do those tiny baby steps to get back to doing the right things. I know that I need to read my scriptures. I know that I need to pray to my Father in Heaven more often. I just end up finding other things that end up fulfilling my time. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father is watching out for me. Because I make huge mistakes a lot of times. I am not the most intelligent person. And I know that he has angels watching over me. Because I wouldn't be a live today with out those angels. The other night when I was in so much pain. I said Heavenly Father, I am done. I am so done and cried. And I felt the presence of a few different family members with me. And you know, things aren't like one hundred percent better for me. But he helped me to take one day at a time. I know that this church is true. I am thankful for his help and I am thankful for the Scriptures. I just need to develop a love for them. I know that he lives. And I am thankful for our Brother and Savior and for his Atonement. And for the fact that I have to use that in my life. And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.