I went to church today, and I get sooooo nervous when it's A Fast and Testimony Meeting. For me? I get so nervous that I almost feel like I want to throw up. Well I didn't get up today and share my testimony. I love being a member of this church. And I love to talk. But I just have a really really hard time when it comes to Testimony Meetings. I would like to share my testimony. Because even though I didn't get up and share it, I still like to share it with others. When I share my testimony it helps me to get stronger and it may help and strengthen other people. "I have had a really really hard past few months. I know it's because Satan wants to work on me so hard and that I let him into my life. I know that the things I need to do are reading my Scriptures, praying, and all the Primary answers, of even going to church. I can say that thus far lately, that all I have been doing is the last one. I have been going to church. I usually find excuses for the other things that I know that I need to be doing. Well just recently it got to the point that I was hating being a live. I was seriously saying one day, Heavenly Father, I am done with this life. I want to take my own life, even though I know that I would be missing people here, but I was so depressed that I was thinking there is no point for me to be here. Plus I was in pain, tons of different kinds of pain. I was feeling actual pain, because I have a ruptured disc in my back and because, I was just feeling pain all over really. But one night recently. I was up the majority of the night and I was just bawling my eyes out, and saying I am done. I am so done with this life. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. And I am going to have to say that it's going to take some time for me to do those tiny baby steps to get back to doing the right things. I know that I need to read my scriptures. I know that I need to pray to my Father in Heaven more often. I just end up finding other things that end up fulfilling my time. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father is watching out for me. Because I make huge mistakes a lot of times. I am not the most intelligent person. And I know that he has angels watching over me. Because I wouldn't be a live today with out those angels. The other night when I was in so much pain. I said Heavenly Father, I am done. I am so done and cried. And I felt the presence of a few different family members with me. And you know, things aren't like one hundred percent better for me. But he helped me to take one day at a time. I know that this church is true. I am thankful for his help and I am thankful for the Scriptures. I just need to develop a love for them. I know that he lives. And I am thankful for our Brother and Savior and for his Atonement. And for the fact that I have to use that in my life. And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Well today I have to say that I have been definitely spiritually fed. This morning as I blogged about in my first blog I was able to listen to the Prophet of our Church and many other great ppl speak. I had to go to my sister Wendy's House today and give Krisha her Cd's with pictures. My sister Wendy asked me if I wanted to go to her church. She attends off and on the Calvary church here in Idaho Falls. She said that they had a guy that does this sermon Potter's Field. And that he does pottery and molds and shapes it while his wife sings. This sermon was one of the most amazing sermons I have been too. He talked about how when he was growing up that he didn't even believe in Jesus. Because there was no one in his life that had ever talked about him. And that he didn't really even know anything about Jesus and so he never really discussed him or Heavenly Father. Then one day he got into a Discussion about Jesus with someone. He said that at the age of 30 was when he had had his first discussion about Jesus. And this guy was talking about Jesus. And he went home and for a few days All he thought about was this discussion about Jesus with this guy. Then he met his wife. Then he forgot all about Jesus and that guy. They dated for three weeks and then they went to Vegas and got married. He said that she grew up being in her church for years. Then she went to school and then she just gradually quit going to her church and stopped thinking about Jesus. But then she married him. The way he put it was hilarious. Because he said that she married him and talked about how the next day she went to church because basically she was joking around that she married the son of the Devil. Because he didn't believe in Jesus. Or didn't even know him. Something like that. Well she went to church and he said he would start going with her. They had a pastor that became very close to them. And in their lives they went through lot of ups and downs. At one point and time he was a huge wealthy man working on Wall Street, living in a huge home with their beautiful car and they had Armani suits. Then one day he quit his job because a friend was like if you could quit your job could you make a living doing something else? This man was like Yes. I could. Well he ended up quitting this job. They moved from their big beautiful home into an apartment. The point with the sculpting of the class was beautiful While he sculpted the clay his wife had sung many songs that she had written over the years about Sculpting our lives. At one point and time he had sculpted and he was talking about how we are like the clay and that he dug his hand all the way to the bottom and took out all the crap in the middle. He said that it's just like in our own Lives that Heavenly Father sculpts us and that he takes out what's in the middle and he sculpts us, and he takes out what is bad or not needed. Then he made this beautiful vase. Big Beautiful vase on his Pottery wheel. He then Chopped it, and the whole congregation gasps because it was a beautiful vase. He talked about how our lives don't always mold out beautifully and that we may think that we look beautiful and a certain way. But then we end up going a different direction. He talked about how that beautiful vase was actually a beautiful bowl. And he sculpted a beautiful bowl and he colored it red. I was amazed. And It was a beautiful Sermon that I attended. I am glad that I was fed spiritually at another church again. I had a good time with my sister. I had a good talk with her tonight as well. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father and his love for all of us. I do belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But I am grateful for ppl of different faiths, and that I can be spiritually fed different places. I felt at peace when I was at Calvary. Not all churches believe the same thing. But it's okay we don't have to always agree about everything. To all get a long.

Today while I am watching Saturday's sessions in Conference... For those that don't know what our General Conference is. It is where the Prophet of our church Speaks and other members in different quorums and the Relief Society where they each pray about what we need to hear. They divulge new items of business in our church at times. While I have been sitting in and listening to Conference. I had a thought that I need to share my testimony and blog about our church. There are many many people out there that do no know who a "Mormon is". Mormon is just a term for members of our wonderful church and congregation. We aren't really technically "Mormons." We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Some ppl say that we are a cult. We are not a cult. Unless you say that pretty much every religon, whether they believe in Christ or not is technically a "Cult." From Dictionary.com, at Cult is defined as: Cult    [kuhlt] Show IPA noun 1. a particular system of religious worship, especially with reference to its rites and ceremonies. 2. an instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, especially as manifested by a body of admirers: the physical fitness cult. 3. the object of such devotion. 4. a group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc. 5. Sociology . a group having a sacred ideology and a set of rites centering around their sacred symbols. This to me means that pretty much any one that has any type of religious gathering could be considered a cult. They could be gathered to have the same beliefs. They could be gathered to learn from one another. I get tired of ppl always saying that we are a cult. But you know what? I will not let that get me mad. At the top of this page I put that I am A Mormon. I am not Perfect. I am definitely not perfect in anyway possible. I am not always nice. I have a temper at times. I don't always have a tact for holding things back when I feel like something has to be said. One thing that I am grateful for is the fact and the knowledge that we have that we have the Savior there for us. And that we can pray to our Heavenly Father. I like making new friends. You don't always have to be of the same faith as me. I like to talk to other ppl about their religion as well. My testimony is that I know that the church is true. This is the true church on the earth today. I am so grateful that this church is so huge on how families can be together forever. We have temples where worthy members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints may attend. We do Baptisms for the Dead. And we are sealed together to our husband or wife. One thing that used to be in our church is that yes there was Polygamy. But that was a long long time a go. And Heavenly Father had polygamy at the time because there were a lot of women that didn't have their husband. But their husband went off to war and was killed or they were killed other ways. The women needed to be cared for. Today we do not have an affiliation with any religion that has to do with Polygamy. I am grateful for our Prophet that we have on the earth today. Our prophet today is President Thomas S. Monson. I am grateful for his love for everyone. He loves you all whether you are a member of this church or not. I wish I could love everyone unconditionally. And I will try harder to love my neighbors, co-workers, or some of the participants that I work with. I know that they are children of God. I am going to start putting on here more about my scripture studies. And my feelings. I hope that the thoughts I share will be able to touch the lives of others. If you are not a member of the church, I would love to hear from you what you know about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If any of you have questions you can always go to Lds.org.

Made it through my day!

I had such a crazy day today. I don't think that I have had another day like it. This morning I went to the hospital. I went to admitting to check in, and asked her that since I didn't have insurance how much is my Cortisone shot going to cost me. She looked it up and I almost passed out. All I can say is that to pay for it, will take me at least a year. She asked me if I was okay and I let her know that I wasn't sure if I should get the shot because that's a lot of money. I am sure I went white, because she kept asking me if I was okay. But then I said out loud I have to get this shot I am in so much pain that I can't even sleep. And I should have asked her if there was any way that I could talk to someone in billing and have them help me with this payment. I think I will go talk to them tomorrow. Then I went to work at Riverside Service Group after I had the shot. I worked with my Morning Client and then went to the Center and worked with several other clients. It was so crazy when I was gathering up a group, because the clients were literally begging me to be in groups. I have never ever had that happen to me. So I had this huge group, because no one else was doing groups. Then in the afternoon I took care of my client that is a child. He's about 12 and always full of energy. I hope that my back will feel lots better in a few days because he loves playing his version of kick ball. LOL. So then it was interesting because we have a new guy Employee that is working with a client one on one M-Thurs. He just started Tuesday. And I have only said Hi to him a few times. He came in and Said, "Kelly I hear you are up North." I said Yes I am, I live in Sugar City. Then he states, "Hey I live in Rexburg, do you think that we could carpool?" Ha ha I was like Yes, that would be totally awesome. That would save us both on gas. And so we talked about what days we could carpool. I let him know that on Mon, Tues, & Thurs I am there until 5 p.m. and let him know that Wednesday would probably be the only day that we would really be able to carpool unless he wanted to stay at the center until 5 p.m. and leave later. He's usually there til about 3:45 or 4 p.m. Yeah He's kinda cute. From what I have seen of him thus far, not so talkative, but then again, he did come to me and talk to me, so Hey that was way cool. Um then after work in the after / evening. I went to Community Care. Found out that I have a Viral infection, went to Walgreens and got my medications. Went to work at the Elementary School in Rexburg. Then came home. Holy Smoly did that day really just occur? This has been a mega long day. So I must bid you all Adieu. Night.

New Year!!!!

It's a New Year. The other evening I decided that I needed to make some New Year Goals. These are in no particular order of importance. I feel that they are all important.
Goals 2012:
1. Get out of Debt.
2. Read the Scriptures.
3. Pray.
4. Move into house or apartment.
5. Find a guy this year.
6. Be nicer to my family and friends.
7. Clean my room on a daily basis (at least one area at a time.)
8. Groom my cat more so he doesn't shed so much.
9. Lose Weight.
10. Treat my parents more kindly and help them around the house more often.
11. Pay Tithing.
12. Go to the temple at least once a month if not more.
13. Travel to the Oregon Coast this year.
14. Look up colleges for Humanities and look into teaching.
15. Take pictures of family and friends for fun.

I am hoping that I can accomplish a lot of my goals for this year. If you all have made some goals I would love to learn more about them.
I can't believe that it's another New Year. I hope that this year will bring a lot more thrills and more happiness. I graduated from BYU-I last year and have two jobs. But hopefully this year will bring more fun times for me. I hope that I can travel more and able to do a lot of things that will be fun and exciting. Here's to a New Year...Can't believe that it is already 2012. Gah.

Cookies in the Airport

This evening our home teacher stopped by and gave us a lesson and some home baked cookies. He missed meeting with us on Sunday because of different things going on. So he shared this story with us. I loved it so much. That I am sharing it with you. I know that there have been so many times that I have only seen things "my way" and have not looked outside the box to see it from other people's eyes. I know that we can all learn from this story. Thankfully I learned from this. There area a lot of times that I tend to place blame on other people. I need to look at the bigger picture. I hope you enjoy this story. Or I dunno maybe this really happened.

Emma Lou Thayne’s
Cookies in the Airport

Cookies. Pepperidge Farm Milano. Just a few. Perfect for between flights. Buy a bag to put down with your belongings on the seat between you and the man also waiting down the row. Pick up your mystery novel, get absorbed, pass the forty-five minute layover with no anxieties.

Fine. But then … what? That man. What’s he doing? Reaching for your bag of cookies? Opening it? Taking a cookie out! Surely not. You look his way, try to be nonchalant, wonder what in the world…?

So you reach into the bag, take one yourself, looking intently at your book. Let him know just whose bag of cookies that is. But then… surely not again. He’s taking another cookie. Two! Eating them as if he’d done nothing wrong. The Nerve, the very nerve. And he looks like such a nice man, smiling the whole time, not at you, but at the newspaper he’s reading. Or pretending to. Like you with your book, now far from your focus but a great prop.

He reaches for the bag, takes two more cookies. You do the same. Neither looking at the other but seeing it all. Again him. Again you. Finally, the end. He reaches in, rustles his hand around in the bottom of the bag, and takes the last cookie! Oh come on! Do you accuse him? Give him a vampire look? Tip the empty bag over his face? Make him somehow aware? At least let him know that you know?

He’s standing up now, picking up his carry-on, and smiling. Smiling right at you, nodding as if he were the most pleasant man in the airport. Really? Not a word, not an apology?

You stand to gather your coat, your purse, your own carry-on. You fumble for your ticket as you head for the line-up to the flight. He’s now gone off to another gate. May his destination be jail!

You keep fumbling. Watching him go. Then… oh come on. Not really. In your purse, a bag of cookies. :)

I Love Ghosties

Once upon a time there was a girl. A silly girl that loved watch ghost shows on television. Well this girl still loves ghost shows such as Ghost Hunters and GHI. Anything that has to do with the paranormal. This is an accumulation of different things that have happened to me that, real ghost happenings that have happened throughout my life. Some of you may say ghosts or spirits. But either way I have felt or seen Ghosts or Spirits a few times throughout my life.
One time when my mother and father worked at the church as custodians, they were at the Sugar City Stake Center and Wendy and I had decided that we were going to go see what my parents were up to at the church. We rode our bikes to the Stake Center and went to the only door that we found unlocked and we went in. All the lights were out. Both Wendy and I had grown up going to the church house so much that we didn’t even have to have the lights on. So we started racing down the hallway to see who could get to the corner fastest. We turned the corner and both of us can to a dead Holt. There in front of us was a lady spirit. I will never forget it she had a bluish aura around her and Wendy and I grabbed hands and we just stood there and stared at this lady. And she stared back at us. I have no clue how long we stood there for but then she and went around the corner. Wendy and I let go and ran to the end of that hallway and looked around the corner and the lady Spirit was gone. Then we heard a noise from the room behind us. It’s the room that they do all the stake business in. And we found out that it was my mother working in that set of rooms. We tried telling her what we saw but we were talking so fast and I don’t think that my other understood what we were talking about. Later on we told our parents and they were just like well it must have been a Spirit of someone that lived here in Sugar City that really loved being in that building before they passed on. Wendy and I still mention it sometimes to this day. It was nutso.
Here this crazy girl that loves ghosts so much started a job at the Madison Junior High building, here in Rexburg, Idaho. It was funny because when I started there I will never forget my friend Krista had said to me after I had been working in this building as a custodian for a few weeks. She says, “I have heard that the Junior High is haunted.” I laughed and was like I don’t think so because I would go there several times where I would be the only custodian, because I would be so busy doing classes and homework that sometimes I would go in there around midnight. Then after I talked with Krista about two nights later, I was in there about midnight and my supervisor had gone home, and I was just wandering around and getting my stuff done then I had to leave something in my supervisors office and her office is in the same hallway and right exactly across from the band room. I heard a huge clanging noise as soon as I went into her office and it sent chills right down my spine cuz I knew I was the only one left in that building. But then again sometimes the door that leads from the band room to the outside gets left a jar or unlocked and so I thought it might have been some kids in there hiding out and that then they hit the stands. I opened the door and went in there and there was no one in the main room, so I checked the teacher’s rooms and they were locked. It scared me and gave me the chills a bit. But it didn’t frighten me so bad that I had to leave the building and I finished my work downstairs. The next day, I told my supervisor Elaine about what had happened to me the night before. Omgosh it was hilarious. She says oh it’s probably just the ghosts that resides here. I looked at her like what in the world are you talking about? And she said yeah you can ask everyone that works here and pretty much everyone that works here has had an encounter with him.
So I took her word for it and asked all the custodians and the ghost that resides there had messed with all of them a time or two. I talked to the secretaries and also some of the teachers. And I talked with the school police officer. He told me that one evening he had told some people about the ghost and that they were sitting in the parking lot which is now the Melalucca parking lot and that they looked into the building and saw this bluish colored light coming from the windows that were upstairs. And so he went into the building and he went into every single area and there was no one there. The secretary that worked there told me that one time she had to leave early but that she had some paperwork that was due the next day so she had to come back. She was the only person in the building. So she thought. And she told me that that evening, she was doing her paperwork and then she heard running and doors above her on the top floor opening and closing, and opening and closing. And this was making her mad that one of the teachers was letting their child run and play and open everyone’s doors and she couldn’t concentrate. So she went up stairs and all the doors were completely shut in that whole hallway upstairs. And she had goose bumps and grabbed her paper work that was due the next day and she literally ran outta the building. She then told me another time when she was again in the building by herself early one morning and that she heard tapping on the glass window that in front of her. She then was like all well maybe it was my imagination. Then she heard tapping on the window again. She looked up and she was the image of a male figure standing there and he was transparent and then he disappeared. She then said that she didn’t run outta the building but said I have a lot of work to do go away. HAHAHA.
So anyway after hearing about all of these stories and I have only shared a few of em. I was on fire with the fact that I wanted to go through and I literally was talking to the ghost all the time. People called me crazy. Elaine always laughed at me. Elaine and I had so much fun working there together. Elaine is hilarious. She started to stand in different parts of the building after she saw that I started working and she was pop out from hallways, and from behind doors. We would both go scare each other constantly. I even started going into her area and making her jump from jumping out from behind doors.
One evening there was a basketball game going on upstairs and I went down to my area and I turned on my I pod and I was singing at the top of my lungs while I was cleaning Mr. Wilson’s room. And I remember I was cleaning his chalk board when I heard the door open behind me and I heard clear as day, “GET OUT.” Then the door slammed. I turned and the door behind me at the other end of the room was the Athletic room. I went to the door and tried to turn the handle and it didn’t open, and so I got the chills because I was thinking in my head that some kids had gotten down stairs from the game and were hiding out in there. So I took off and found my Elaine and told her what happened and that I got the hell outta dodge from that room. She started laughing and said well you wanted him around basically. So she told the principle and he started laughing and then came down stairs with me and we unlocked that room and went inside that room and all there was, was athletic gear. So they laughed and said well there was your ghost. Everyone knew that I love ghosts and that I was trying to draw him out. So then I dunno how long after that but I was in the band room cleaning and I had just turned off my vacuum and was grabbing the cord and wrapping it up, when I heard, Kelly and blah blah blah I dunno what it said after that and I waited til I had the cord wrapped up and then turned around and went to say what Elaine? But then I said What Elaine and turned and no one was in the room. And I heard a conversation going on in that room a few voices. And I was like well maybe it’s from the hallway. No one was in the hallway and then I walked to Elaine’s office and she was sitting at her desk reading the newspaper. So I said Elaine did you just call my name and want to ask me something? She said Nope, I have just been sitting here reading my newspaper. I told her that I was in the band room and that I heard someone call me. And that then I was hearing a conversation in that room. And she laughed and said well Kelly you were the one that drew the ghost out, so I guess he must be following you.
Then there is the time that I got pushed. I was vacuuming my area, and Elaine was there working too at the time when this happened. I was down stairs and vacuuming in the girls locker room, and I must have torqued off Mr. Ghosty. Because I decided that I was just going to pick up the big garbage stuff and instead of sweeping the hard floor, I went in and vacuumed the hard floor. And I stopped and I guess I missed something big from picking it up because my vacuum got plugged and so I stopped and pulled the garbage outta the vacuum tube and then was pushed. I literally flew forward almost fell flat on my face, and the hose part of the vacuum flew off the top of the vacuum. And I stood there for a second after I was picking myself back up and I thought; now Elaine has gone too far. So I took off the vacpak and yelled Elaine that was not cool. So I never heard anything from her. And so I went to the hallway. She wasn’t there. I went upstairs, and guess where she was? In the gym sweeping and mopping. I said um, okay so strange question for you, but did you just come down stairs and shove me really hard and then run up here? And she laughed and said nope, I have been working in here for a while. So I told her that now the ghost was getting physical and that he literally shoved me and that I almost fell. She laughed and said well he was probably in your girl’s locker room sleeping or chilling out and you must have disturbed him. Well that’s pretty much all that happened at my school.
I remember one time there was a marathon of GH’s going on one day, I watched it that whole entire day. Then that evening I felt a presence in my room. It was a male presence. And I could feel him breathing on me and that he wasn’t a friendly guy. And I talked to my parents after I felt this presence for days being in my room. I said I don’t know how come I can’t get rid of him. And my parents said he was probably there because when you are dealing with the paranormal like I had been, by watching GH’s all the time I pretty much invited him. So my dad I begged him to give my room a blessing and I never felt him there again. But he was freaky.
Anyway here are ghost stories. Hilary wanted a compilation of ghost stories so I typed them up and then thought I would just post on my blog. It’s crazy all the things that I have gone through and I never ever really got to choked up about it too much. I told my friends or family at about the time they happened and my friends were like I would pee my pants if that happened to me. But hey this is the girl that broke both of her feet and walked on the for several days til the doctor told me I had to get boots on them and that I was wheelchair bound. ME= one tough cookie. HAHAHA. I <3 GHOSTS. Hey I should get that on a window sticker.